Patterns of Funeral Ceremony

When considering what style of service you feel is right for you, try to keep the personality and character of your loved one in the forefront of your mind, and allow them to be your guiding light.

Steve offers 3 styles of funeral ceremony, namely:

  • Traditional
  • Memorial 
  • Celebration
Candle being lit

Traditional Service

A traditional funeral ceremony can include religion or no religion, and is usually very formal.

Traditional Services

lady at a funeral

Memorial Service

A memorial service follows a straightforward reflective pattern, and can include religion if required.

Memorial Services

people celebrating with wine glasses

Celebration of Life

This style of ceremony is tailored to represent the personality and character of your loved one.

Celebration of Life

Your Meeting with Steve.

It’s pretty normal to feel anxious about meeting with your officiant or even the vicar. But there isn’t any need to be.

A family recently commented:

“We dreaded the meeting to discuss the service, but Steve was nothing like what we were expecting. It felt like he was a family friend. So easy to get along with. We laughed and we cried. His advice and his guidance, and the way they were offered, were incredible.” – Josie 

Steve will want to discuss all these options with you when he meets you. Feel free to draw on his vast knowledge and experience.

The following information will need to be collated and discussed.

  • Early Years – When they were born, their parents’ names, where they were born, raised, and educated. Short stories they may have shared with you about their youth.
  • Relationships – Names of the family and their relationship with the person who has died. Were they married or cohabiting? How did the couple meet? If married, where and when? How would you describe your relationship with them?
  • Career, hobbies and interests What did they do for a living, and how did they relax? What captivated them, and what can you tell me about their hopes and dreams?
  • Special stories and memories Think of three short stories that tell me about who they were and what made them so endearing, or maybe not so as the case may be.
  • Personality and character – Ask family and friends to think of a couple of words that describe who they were and be ready to share those words with me.
  • The good and the not so good – The ceremony works better if it is authentic. So, how would you describe the strengths and weaknesses of the person who has died? What did they like, and what did they dislike?

Why not put a little time aside to write down your responses to these pointers before I speak with you?

couple talking to another person

Ritual & Religion

Contrary to popular belief, funerals do not have to be religious or spiritual. We do not have to sing hymns or recite prayers, but Steve will be delighted to include these elements within the ceremony if it feels appropriate for you to do so. You may wish to place flowers or rosemary (a symbol of memories) around the coffin and have photographs and memorabilia on display during the ceremony too. All of this may be discussed when he meets you.

Candle in hands graphic
Musical notes graphic

Music & Poetry

When it comes to funeral ceremonies, music and poetry play a pivotal role. They can be an integral part of celebrating the life of someone we love. They can arouse memories and emotions and can be very comforting.

The ceremony will be time-critical, but it will be essential to have a least two music pieces and perhaps a couple of poems or readings too, even if this will be a graveside ceremony. If you are struggling to choose music or prose, then the following links will provide you with some ideas.

Steve Recommends

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Life Ledger provides a free service to close, freeze or switch all of the accounts connected to the deceased. It simplifies the process of contacting everyone from banks & pension providers, to gas, water, electricity, telephone, TV, insurance, memberships & subscriptions. Contact them all quickly and simply from a single point. 

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