This is about Ada’s story after losing her baby.
Ada reached out through my website in 2019. She was a young, unsupported mother facing the devastating loss of her baby and the daunting task of arranging a funeral without any financial resources.
Despite lacking support from her family, she desperately wanted to give her child a proper farewell. She grappled with grief, poverty, and the overwhelming task of planning a funeral, all while feeling utterly alone.
Although I have changed her name for privacy reasons, Ada is happy to share her story.
Ada’s Story
The story begins with a young woman, barely more than a girl herself, who experiences the joy of pregnancy followed by the crushing pain of losing her baby. Her family, already distant and unsupportive, offered little comfort or practical help during this difficult time.
“You’re not the only girl to have lost a baby,” a close relative retorted.
As a result, Ada was left to navigate the complexities of grief and mourning while facing a financial crisis.
The lack of money posed a significant obstacle, causing her to panic.
She wanted to honour her baby with a funeral—a final act of love and remembrance—but the costs seemed, at first glance, insurmountable. She felt the weight of societal expectations and the pressure to conform to the traditional grieving process, even though she lacked the means to do so. This young mother was caught between her deep desire to say goodbye and the harsh realities of her circumstances.
This story is about grief, resilience, and the yearning for dignity in the face of loss. It highlights the profound challenges faced by young, unsupported mothers and the importance of support systems—both emotional and financial—during times of extreme vulnerability. It also underscores the universal need to mourn and find closure, regardless of socioeconomic status.
Ada reached out nearly six years ago and still receives professional support to help her navigate the difficulties surrounding her loss. I’m pleased she did. Within the first 30 minutes of meeting her, I saw the relief physically lift from her face and posture. I was able to reassure her of three things:
1. The funeral will happen.
2. She is not alone.
3. Professional support is available should she need it.
The Child Funeral Charity
Planning a funeral for a child or baby is a challenging experience, often compounded by emotional stress and financial burdens. The Child Funeral Charity, established in 2013, supports bereaved families by providing financial assistance and resources to help navigate funeral arrangements.
Last Rites supports and works closely with the charity year-round, providing ceremonial services at no charge and offering personal and professional support to families who have lost a child.
You can check the CFC website for more information.
The Children’s Funeral Fund
It’s worth noting that the Children’s Funeral Fund (CFF) for England, established by the government in 2019, covers many costs associated with child funerals.
Eligibility for the Fund includes:
– The child must be under 18 at death or stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy.
– The funeral must take place in England.
– Claims must be submitted within six months of the funeral.
The Fund is not means-tested and is available to all families, regardless of income or religious affiliation. It covers costs for cremations, burials, and associated fees, including:
– Coffins and caskets
– Urns
– Grave maintenance fees
The Fund also allows for claims related to gravedigger fees and other necessary services. If you need assistance, I can refer you to the CFC and point you toward the CFF.
Support after losing a child
Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need guidance or support.
There are other charities and organisations out there, including:
You are not alone. There is support available.
What About Ada Now?
Ada didn’t have to find a single penny to fund her baby’s funeral. I officiated the ceremony, and she was supported by some of her closest friends and family.
She continues to receive grief counselling. She’s now married, has a new daughter, and is a fantastic mum!
Last Rites is a proud year-round supporter of the CFC.
More about funeral poverty here:
Discover more from
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.