It’s All In A Name

“The name is the thing, and the true name is the true thing. To speak the name is to control the thing” – Le Guin

As human beings, certain aspects of life touch upon the very essence of who we are. One such aspect is remembering and honouring those who have died.

In a recent blog post by Andy Langford, the Clinical Director of Cruse Bereavement, I was interested to read how he discusses the importance of saying the names and telling the stories of those who have died. He recounts his own experience at the memorial service for his father. His father’s friends gathered to share stories and memories about him. He realised that each mention of his father’s name was another piece of his life story, thus allowing those present to remember him meaningfully. 

This simple act of speaking the name of someone may seem a little inconsequential, but, according to Andy, it holds great significance, especially for the bereaved.

Names hold a special value. Isn’t it funny, whenever I hear the name, Anthony, I’m immediately transported back to my school days? I think of the very gaunt and awkward-looking fellow of the same name. He sat at the front of the class and would spend much of our history lesson calling the teacher, names. So much personhood can be held in a name.

Showing Intimacy

I remember, during my time as a theology student, one of the concepts that struck me the most was the significance of names within scripture. In ancient times names served various purposes and held significant meanings; connecting individuals to their identity and emphasising the importance of individuality and uniqueness. They were considered an essential part of a person’s being, as much as their physical body.

Naming also played a crucial role in establishing relationships and showing intimacy and knowledge. Notably, by calling someone by their name, we acknowledge their presence and develop a personal connection with them. Over and again the Hebrew God of the Old Testament was implicitly referred to as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Thus, it is significant that the reader understands who Abraham, Issac and Jacob were. The name Abraham meant that he was ‘the father of multitudes,’ Issac, that he was ‘one who rejoices,’ and Jacob was a person, ‘to follow.’ Names were significant in that they quickly relayed something about their personality and character, and indeed, their purpose. So, since time immemorial, it seems, our names have been meaningful symbols of our identity, and our place in the world.

Why Are Names Important Today

But how does this speak to us today? Well, it is not uncommon for people to avoid talking about those who have died out of fear that they may upset those who are mourning. However, as Andy points out in his blog, by speaking the names of their loved ones we honour their memory and their place in our lives. By voicing their names, we also invite others to do the same and so begins a process of storytelling. The power of naming, then, cannot be underestimated. Each mention of their name does indeed add another layer to their life story and keeps their memory very much alive.

As the American author, Justin Cronin writes, “There is power in a name. It is through names that we bring all things into this world, and when they leave, it is names we carry with us, so they are never truly gone.”

And I think these opening words from a poem by Erin Hanson, say it all.

“Who are you, if you are not your name?”

When we connect with the bereaved, Andy Langford urges us to, ‘say their name,’ and I couldn’t agree more, given that we invest so much of who we are by what we are called. To read Andy’s blog, visit: https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/blog/sharing-their-name/

To read more blogs by Steve, visit: https://lastrites.ltd/steves-blog/