“There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees” — Michael de Montaigne
Hello, I’m Steve, and I’d like to introduce myself. For over 26 years, I’ve been working as a Bereavement Practitioner, officiating funeral ceremonies. I hold a degree in Theology, a Life Skills Diploma, and I’m proud to be a Fellow of The Society of Bereavement Practitioners.
At 60 years old, I’m happily married to Naomi, and we have five adult children and eight grandchildren. In my spare time, I enjoy reading, listening to music, and I like to think of myself as a coffee connoisseur — perhaps even a bit of a coffee snob!
My Work As A Bereavement Practitioner
I usually divide my week into three main parts: two-thirds dedicated to working with bereaved families and one-third reserved for reading, reflection, and spending time with family. I spent 17 years as a local minister in the Church of England, but in 2017, I chose to leave organised religion and fully embrace my calling to help heal the brokenhearted. That’s when I founded Last Rites, a bereavement service that supports families before, during, and after funerals.
Having aided thousands of grieving families and pondered the meaning of life for decades, I have thoughts and values I want to share. That’s the inspiration behind this blog.
Last Chapter
In “Last Chapter,” I plan to reflect on life and death, sharing my ideas and experiences in the hope of helping others understand the nature of my work and supporting them in their times of need. I also want this blog to encourage a sense of introspection. Self-reflection is essential as it nurtures self-awareness, enhances emotional regulation, promotes personal growth, and boosts our overall well-being. By examining our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, we can gain insights that prepare us to face both the highs and lows of life, ultimately leading to better decision-making, healthier habits, and more meaningful relationships.
Join the Conversation
In the UK, there’s a noticeable reluctance to discuss death and plan for funerals openly. Many people find conversations around mortality uncomfortable, a phenomenon often dubbed the “death taboo.” This discomfort can result in a lack of preparation. Through this blog, I aim to foster open dialogue about these topics. I welcome your thoughts — feel free to agree, disagree, suggest, comment, and ask questions. Your input, drawing from your own experiences, is invaluable.
Community is Key
Families today are increasingly personalising funerals, stepping away from stagnant traditions and rigid structures. They seek meaningful ways to say goodbye that reflect the unique lives of their loved ones. This shift highlights a broader trend toward individualisation and secularisation in how we honour those we’ve lost. I hope to contribute to this evolving narrative.
Funerals play a vital role in the grieving process, providing a structured space for acknowledging loss, expressing emotions, and fostering a supportive community. They establish a framework for honouring the deceased, sharing memories, and embarking on the journey of moving forward without the beloved individuals we mourn.
The rise in unattended cremations, especially in the wake of the pandemic, raises concerns about the potential impact on emotional support and the grieving process for families. While these options offer cost savings and flexibility, there’s growing worry that skipping funeral services might hinder individuals and families in coping with their loss.
Some fear that unattended cremations could deepen isolation during an already vulnerable time, negatively affecting mental health. While solitude can be beneficial for reflection, prolonged isolation may worsen grief. It’s essential to strike a balance between solitude and social support during these challenging times. Funerals help individuals recognise their grief and find comfort in each other’s presence. Coming together to support one another strengthens existing relationships and fosters new bonds among those who share a common experience.
Share the Love
Through this blog, I’ll address these issues and conversations, drawing on my experiences and sharing real-life stories. I may question familiar practices, but will always come from a place of care, aiming to bring about change where it’s needed and provide support wherever possible.
Please subscribe to stay updated on my latest thoughts, and please feel free to spread the word.
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