Waiting Is A Mug’s Game???

While studying, I found waiting for results and feedback the most challenging aspect of the process. In my second year, I remember feeling quite anxious about the delay in one of my end-of-year assignments. I had put much into the project, but I also remember being preoccupied with the wait; a lot was riding on receiving a positive result. Fortunately, I had an outstanding learning mentor who suggested, one evening, that I should embrace the wait and learn from it. I remember feeling perplexed by his advice, but he was right.

Looking back, I gained great insight from that wait. It provided time for introspection, allowing me to reassess my priorities and consider different perspectives; this was an invaluable lesson.

I share this because I’m acutely aware that the current waiting game caused by the issuance of death certificates in England is significantly impacting bereaved families. This wait can cause delays in planning funerals, settling estates, and accessing benefits and pensions, adding further stress to an already difficult time.

New System

The changes introduced a new statutory medical examiner system, which means that a medical examiner must review all deaths not investigated by a coroner before a death certificate can be issued. This independent review aims to improve patient safety and provide additional safeguards but has also led to delays.

Delays

Families are reporting significant delays in receiving death certificates, with some waiting weeks or even months. These delays are causing frustration and stress as they prevent families from moving forward with essential tasks like arranging funerals and accessing benefits.

My genuine concern is that the backlog impacts those already struggling with grief.

Delays in the grieving process can have significant consequences. These can include prolonged emotional distress, physical health problems, and even an increased risk of mental health disorders like PTSD, anxiety, or depression.

However, there is some value in approaching things more slowly rather than wanting things to happen here and now.

There is significant value in waiting, especially when making major decisions.  Allowing time for the raw emotions to subside and for a clearer perspective to emerge, minimising the risk of regrets and enabling more thoughtful choices can be a good thing. It also provides space to process the loss, eventually allowing for a more meaningful and lasting remembrance of the person you’ve lost.

“Waiting is painful, forgetting is painful, but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” – Paulo Coelho. 

If you’re feeling stressed by the wait, here are a few tips:

1. Focus on the Present:

• Engage in activities that bring you back to the Present, like yoga or meditation. 

• Journaling about things you’re grateful for can boost you. 

2. Distract Yourself:

• Books, movies, or games can be great ways to distract yourself from the wait.

3. Relaxation Techniques:

• Practice deep, deliberate breaths to calm your mind and body. 

• Combine deep breathing with a mantra, such as “I am breathing out stress and breathing in relaxation.” 

• Relaxing sounds: Listen to calming music or nature sounds. 

4. Manage Expectations:

• Don’t dwell on the negative aspects of the wait. 

• Look for silver linings: Try to find the positive aspects of the situation. 

• Accept that you are waiting and try to make the most of your time.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/changes-to-the-death-certification-process/an-overview-of-the-death-certification-reforms