This week, I revisit a guest blog by Laura Toop, who has helped hundreds of people navigate significant life changes.
Laura shares some of her personal experiences and a career in corporate transformation. Empowering people to move forward in life with greater confidence after loss.
A couple of weeks ago on this blog, I discussed the concept of Shalom. Laura’s story encapsulates this concept beautifully – because of her loss, like mine, it seems she too, is on a mission to bring a sense of change, hope, and love to grieving people.
This is what Laura shared in her original blog a few years ago:
Seven years ago, my life spectacularly imploded.
I lost my husband, my health, and my career in quick succession.
Everything I knew, gone in an instant. Indeed, my then 4-year-old nephew said that Christmas, “Auntie Lollipops (aka Me), now that Uncle Chris is dead, you have nothing”. And they say…out of the mouths of babes…
He did kindly say, “Don’t worry, I will look after you for 100 days”. One hundred days is a long time if you’re 4, but if you’re 42, it’s not going to get me much past March!
The thing was, as 2015 ended, I DID feel like I had nothing.
Lost in a world I hadn’t asked for, didn’t recognise, and had no clue how to step forward in, I drifted for some months trying to resume ‘normal’ before I realised that what HAD been ‘normal’ was no longer ‘normal’. The suggestions of others, while well-meaning, were not helpful. How was returning to ballet, going to ‘save my world’??
Desperate not to return to the ‘unhelpful’ coping strategies of the past, the eating disorders and working harder, I had to do something.
Five thousand miles away on the island of Aruba (ironically called the ‘Happy Island’ by its’ locals) as my nephew’s words ‘You have nothing’ echoed in my mind, I realised I did have something, Myself, that, and my ability to’ business plan’, well 25 years managing business change and transformation had taught me one or two things, after all! I set about business planning my life and my first 100 days.
‘Project Me’ was born on that beach, May 2016.
Roll forward to today, I now live the reality of ‘Project Me’.
Having moved 90 miles around the M25 to a town I didn’t know, bought a house, and renovated it into a home, I made new friendships. I created a business that I am passionate about, enabling others to navigate their tough life transitions and flourish once again.
My approach is different…
It blends therapy and coaching, and a touch of consultancy and mentoring as well.
Why do I do it this way? Because it was the space that wasn’t available when I went looking for support following my multiple, successive losses. I didn’t need to be told. That my ‘inner child was hurting’ as I had been by three different grief counsellors, I tried… That may have been the case. BUT it wasn’t helpful…
The stark reality was….
My husband was 6 feet under, he wasn’t coming back, and I needed a way to get on in this world I hadn’t asked for, didn’t recognise, and hadn’t a clue how to navigate… And I needed the space to breathe and talk about what happened, to understand, and to pick up the pieces of my shattered life while the world continued to be busy around me.
Typically, counselling focuses on the past, while coaching focuses on the future.
When thrown into an emotional maelstrom, you can’t see a future, your confidence is blown, and you’re overwhelmed with all the unanswered questions. It’s exhausting and relentless, and you question whether you will lose it completely.
So, as a result, I meet you where you are. NO ’50-minute hours’ where, just as you have begun to talk, you’re told time is up.
No impractical solutions; your busy mind will not allow you to sit with them.
NO ‘blueprint’ processes, for you to ‘fit into’ that suggest we’re all the same, and everything will happen in a specific, sequential order.
NO judgment, criticism, or fear of rejection, just a space for your voice to be heard.
Focusing on the 3A’s: Acknowledge, Act, Attain, the essence of ‘Project Me’, I enable you to begin connecting with yourself once again, and rebuild from the ground up, to create clarity and find focus amidst the chaos and the overwhelm, to bridge the gap your grief creates, for you to flourish once again.
Want to know more about ‘Project Me’? Listen to my TED talk here:
What the board room taught me about living life again after loss | TED Talk
Want to know more about what happens when grief hits? Listen to the 1st episode of my radio show here.
For more information and to book a free, no-obligation clarity call with me, head over to: http://www.laura-toop.com
Other contact details, including social media channels, you can find them here:
m. 07989 321091
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